I just want the happy back

Seriously, I wonder what we have become. When i was younger, I remember that my sister and I would hang out with our friends, riding bikes all over the neighborhood, we just have to be home before it got dark. We spent more hours outside because its all we really had to do. There was no computers, PlayStation, Xbox’s, iPad or cellphones. There was sidewalk chalk, jump ropes, bicycles, our friends and our imaginations. If we were hanging out inside because it was raining then we were watching movies, reading or doing chores around the house. If it was too hot outside, you still went outside, turned on the water hose and had a blast in the water for a few hours. There really wasnt a need for eagles eye’d parents, they would occasionally pass by the front window and make sure everyone was there and not bleeding.  These days, it’s the complete opposite, kids don’t ever really wanna leave the comfort of the couch or their devices, friends are those people they play with at school only, or talk to over the IPhone/IPad or PS4/Xbox. You wouldn’t dare let your kids play outside by themselves. Don’t even get me started on the fear of simply sending our kids to school these day. I currently have a child going into her last year of elementary, one in his first year of middle school and one going into his first year of high school. It terrify s me, I briefly did home school for this last school year but it just wasnt for us. Putting together three different curriculum for three different grades was a lot of work. Teachers really don’t get enough credit for what they do people!!! Remember that!! Anyways, so we moved to a program, a charter program, the kids go to school two days a week. They are home three days a week with a packet from their teacher with some independent study work. It has worked for us this last school year, however, i don’t know if it’s going to continue to be a good fit for us. I just think of all the things they are missing out on not being in a regular school everyday.  These are the times when being the a parent is really just so overwhelming, you have to make the exact best decision for your children and the outcome also lays on your shoulders. Its really a lot sometimes, but we shall see what happens as the next school years unfolds.

ok, Ive drifted off my point, I get to thinking about the world my kids are growing up in and it just makes me sad sometimes. I wish that they could be in a similar world like what i grew up in. Anyways, my point is this, i am that person in public that always smiles, says “hello”, “have a good day”, “excuse me”, “oh i am sorry”  (even if its not my fault.) I am the person who will stop and let you walk right in front of me, when i clearly was there first. Or will let you pull outta your spot in the parking lot, even if it would be easier for me go behind you real quick and get outta your way. I am the person who still has faith that we are a kind and compassionate society somewhere deep under the negativity, criticism, and selfishness. I want to be in a world were block parties still happen, where people still hold the door open for each other, stop and smile and exchange pleasantries with each other, even if you don’t know them. Where patience and compassion are just common sense and everyday. Where you don’t look at someone and see a black person who MUST be a gangster or up to no good, or a person of Indian decent who MUST be a bomber or planning an attack on us. I don’t look at people like that. I don’t care whether you are black, white, purple, polka dotted, fat, or skinny. I care if you smile back at me and say hi. I care if you look like you need a hug or an “are you ok?.” I care about people, not race, size, religious view, gender or anything else. I just care about people and i miss the world were we all remembered this is one big, beautiful melting pot of a world. We are all here trying to accomplish the same thing, live our lives as best as we can, with our loved ones, making the most out of all the opportunities this world has to offer us. I’ve dated many different races of people, my children happen to be mixed children  (quarter Japanese, quarter Mexican). I am the first person to stand up for anyone who is being unfairly treated for any reason. I have no tolerance with any sort of ism, sex-ism, race-ism, or any other prejudice.

Look, I have anxiety, bad, most days i struggle to get myself up and out the door to go into the world. I have to talk myself through a quick trip to the store. Its ridiculous cause it never used to be that way, but between the massive increase of people in each state in this country and the ever growing negative moods of those people, its not a pleasant experience for me to go out in public alone, then when you add three kids trailing behind me everywhere, it just makes for a very overwhelming experience.

I know a lot of people think that i am ridiculous for wishing that things were even a little like they used to be. I always hear that we are too far past that point now, people are so wrapped up in their own views that they could never “pull their heads outta their asses” to do it that way again. I suppose in some ways i see that, people are holding very tightly onto their opinions these days. They are willing to argue to the death to make sure you see their point and even maybe agree with them. Very few are willing to be open minded and try and see other peoples opinions. So i ask, what would it take? Really. To get us all back to the melting pot mentality. As corny as it sounds, what can be done so that we all just get along? I just want to get back to nicer, happier, less hostile days. Is that really such a bad thing to want?

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